≡ Menu
Montreal Threesomes – Ménage à trois

Why Monogamy Did Not Work For Me

non-monogamy
Looking at my past through the filter of the lessons I have learned from the books I have been reading.  I was unfaithful to almost every woman I ever dated.  In every relationship I was in in when I started to develop feelings for another woman I was always faced with the same three choices.  1. Repress this feelings and continue.  When I did this it always manifested in anger, resentment and a feeling of incompleteness.  2. Act on my feelings leading to my cheating on and  betraying my partner.  3. Leave my partner and start a new relationship with the person I had developed feelings for.

I did all of these things again and again in an endless pattern – often I did all three in a single relationship most often in that precise order.

Becoming married was my first real attempt to break this pattern.  I thought marriage with its oath to forsake all others was my way out.  I stuck to it – I never cheated on her throughout our marriage.  Yet I was deceiving myself I was just doing an alternate form of #1 – repressing.  I was repressing who I truly am, I was avoiding ANY situation that might lead to temptation not giving myself a chance to develop feelings for someone else by avoiding anyone else or even the risk of meeting someone else.  This became untenable when our sex life dried up entirely – I took refuge in spirituality. It helped and it continues to be the single greatest thing that has happened to me – if it took the breakdown of my marriage to bring me closer to the TRUTH of who I am, (who we all are) it was worth it.

Along with the spiritual truth I have also learned a truth for the world of form – I Ryker Adams am POLY and with that there is a fourth option.  The world of Polyamory of ethical non-monogamy.

About the author: We are a local Montreal couple (BG) helping to bring excitement and fun into consensual girls lives through threesomes with us, roleplaying, and sexual education and tips and tricks.

1 comment… add one

  • Yaa

    All right, as far as I am informed, what haepnps when you have sex and a loving relation is a play of energy which leads you each on your way.When you get married in the Christian faith are entered into holy matremony by a priest in the lineage of the apostolic succesion you become joined at the hips, so to speak. Your body and the body of your loved one, becomes one you share one energy system together.For one, there is no longer a natural barrier between the two of you, but you share each others load litteraly. What one thinks, the other can bear the effect of or respond to, if the first don’t want to accept responsibility. And so on. In normal loving relationships it can be a lot like this, but in marriage the possibilities in this direction are not beheft with the same karmic strings.Somebody in the system just will take the burden, or go through the depression, or express the anger, etc. Of cause, you can also share burdens, and help relieve them. It’s easy when you can feel whats going on in another person, but are perhaps not directly involved in the situation as agent, so you can help from your vantage point. Obviously, the joys can also be shared more closely, and you reap the rewards together of your toil as individuals and as a collective. Also, your heart connection is strengthened and support by the sacrement.So in a lot of senses, it sounds like the polyamorous relationships you are talking about, except that there is nescessarily higher forces involved and a different way of generating karma and sharing the load and the joys. Energetically, though, there is more support in the matremony from heaven and earth, as well, as far as I can tell.All of this supports the notion, that you should stick to one person, once you are married in the above sense. Otherwise you would be, for one, breaking the vow, but also karmically, be generating karma for the other person, once you slept around.Secondly, the sexual creative energies are naturally and by Law (logos) directed along certain currents. Apparently, the play of sexual energy leads to it’s being expressed in certain ways. One can go along with these currents, and one can learn to surf the wave of these currents as well, but one can also try to go against the grain.Going against the grain (on all levels) yields results. I am not judging these results or the acts leading to them. They may be pleasurable or a pain. But they will naturally lead to certain reactions or will create dispositions in ones life, or the next (plu).So, third, the depth of the relation the depth of the devotion per time is naturally limited, when more than one person is involved. Though this is surely debatable and depends on lifestyle, the devotional possibilities provided by entering into matremony are something special and not the same outside of marriage, as far as I am informed.So, it’s a loose and gain situation, and in the end we will have learned, what is the good for me, and what is the will of the logos (which is identically to the common good).As to the justification of the social stigma, well According to some, the way the sexual energy work on this planet is different from that of other places. We have inherited planetary karma (original sin), which means, that certain tendencies, which were supposed to have been ironed out in the due course of lives in a different epoch (we are talking former planetary incarnation), are still in need of balancing to conform with the common good, with the Will of God, the logos, the purpose, or what you want to call it. So, in a sense, tradition has something to it, in that we are playing catch up in this area. What the goal for this area of planetary life seems to be, is hard to tell, but what you are doing, and the social stigma/indignation you are raising, is probably all part of the karmic process which will lead to balance. So be earnest, use your heart more than your hips, and you will experience what you have chosen for yourself in due metering, all in all.

Leave a Comment

Visit Us On TwitterVisit Us On FacebookCheck Our FeedVisit Us On Google Plus